Isn't it incredible how much differently you can feel from one day to the next just because the sun is shining.
Same temperature. Same daily routine. Same work. And yet your mood is often completely transformed.
This week Angelle is blogging about how 'shining some light' on your own 'mind chatter' can transform your negative thoughts into much more empowering ones. Ones that would actually be tweetable.
Check out her post just below and learn why her 17-year old daughter's pile of pictures and quotes got her thinking all this and get her 3-step invitation to turn your own internal Negative Nellie thinking into Tweetable Mind Chatter!
As I sit to write this post, I'm a bit distracted by my 17-year old daughter's pile of images and quotes that she's collected for her vision board. I'm facilitating my first Create Your Sweetest Life Vision Board Workshop in a few weeks and so I enlisted my husband and daughter to let me 'practice' with them. Last weekend I had them listening to a grounding meditation and going through an exercise to help create clarity for what they want to be, do and have. Then we started looking for images, sorting and creating our boards.
Except for the fact that we didn't allow quite enough space in our day to complete them, hence the pile of images and quotes still on the table.
At first glance it's appears to be yet another mess in my pretty messy house this week (did you see the pic of my kitchen last on FB Monday??!!), but I'm actually okay with this pile because as I watched Natalie work I saw her getting focused and excited and inspired.
I was feeling a bit blocked for writing this post and found myself reading the quotes in her pile:
- Your soul is rooting for you. She's not afraid.
- Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.
- You did not wake up today to be mediocre.
- Better an oops than a what if.
- Anything could happen.
- Your vibe attracts your tribe.
- Do what you think you can't do.
- Admire someone else's beauty without questioning your own.
And then there's Toss your hair in a bun, drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap and handle it.
There's a whole blog post about the message that last one sends to young women, but I'm not blogging on that one today. :)
As I was reading the quotes I started thinking that while we as women post, tweet and pin a zillion inspirational quotes every day, with positive, empowering, uplifting messages, the actual messages in our heads are not so postable, tweetable or pinnable.
Who among us wants to share these quotes - the words women are often saying to ourselves daily:
- I'm too fat, too old, too ____.
- I'm never good enough.
- I can't get this right.
- I give up.
- I have no will power.
- I'm a loser.
- I am not a good mom.
- I am not enough.
Can you imagine if there were some technology that could actually transcribe all the messages you say to yourself that would then put them in a pretty image that would be automatically shared on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest?
Not so inspirational. We would likely lose friends and followers within days for bringing everyone down!
The thing is that you may have been hearing from your own Negative Nellie for so long now that you don't even realize how many messages she sends you throughout the day.
This was me for years. It was just a tape that played all day long. Like background music that I was barely aware of. Yet it was creating and reinforcing beliefs about myself that were the opposite of all the ones that float around social media that I'm drawn to.
In our 28-Days to Calm Your Craving Course we spend a week diving into what's fact vs. story or judgement. When the ladies in the course become really aware of that Negative Nellie, aka their Inner Critic that's constantly chattering at them, it's like they pulling back the shades and letting the sunshine in. Like when you open the shades on a really sunny day and all of the sudden you see all the dust floating around in the room.
What does this actually do? It creates awareness and awareness creates the opportunity for transformation. Awareness is the first step in changing the chatter to be less critical and more compassionate. Less judgey and more inspirational. First though you need to shine the light in the room so you can actually see the dust. Then you can clean it up.
I have a 3-step invitation for you to transform your own Negative Nellie thinking into more tweetable mind chatter.
Step 1: Notice. For the next few days, shine a light on your own mind chatter. Your Inner Critic won't like being seen. She prefers to run the show in the dark. For example, Notice: "I'm really lazy."
Step 2: Name. Each time you notice the negative mind chatter, name it for what it is. "This is Negative Nelliemind chatter from my Inner Critic."
Step 3: Question. Ask yourself, "Is this a fact or is it a judgement about myself?"
Most likely you'll find evidence that the mind chatter, like the "I'm so lazy." example, is not a fact but a judgement. You might have to present yourself evidence to support that it's not a fact so you could say to yourself, "Okay, I'm not really lazy because I get up at 5:30 a.m. every day and I help get all 3 kids out the door, then I get myself ready for the day and I ...." or, "Okay, I'm not really lazy because I actually take care of our house, pay our bills, go to work, volunteer each week, etc."
It is awesome to post, tweet and pin the positive quotes and affirmations. I'm glad my daughter has so many to put on her vision board and that she keeps feeding her mind nourishing thoughts. And yet, if you are in the habit of criticizing yourself inside your head, which most of us women are, you have to have an interrupt. A strategy or two to stop the madness.
Remember to Notice, Name & Question every time you're aware of that Negative Nellie of yours piping in or running her tape in the background. Maybe like one of my clients you'll get really good at stopping Negative Nellie in her tracks. Within a year this client has almost completely re-written all those messages for herself and now most of her mind chatter is actually Tweetable!
p.s. If you're local to SE Michigan and want some more info about my upcoming Create Your Sweetest Life Vision Board Workshop just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know and I'll get you all the details!