Can you guess the top 2 reasons women don't take care of themselves?

Thank you to everyone who took a few minutes to fill out our recent survey! We hope you are enjoying the REAL Sweets recipes as our thank you. (If you haven't filled out our survey you can click HERE and still get in on the fun - it'll take you 10 minutes or less and you'll get some favorite sweets recipes as a thank you!)

Scroll down to learn the 2 top reasons women gave us for not consistently taking care of themselves and learn one of our favorite coaching strategies for starting to take better care of yourself every day.

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What would you guess the top two reasons are that women gave in our recent survey for not taking care of themselves consistently?

If you guessed, taking care of other people and not having enough time, you'd be right on. Over 50% of the women said these two reasons are their two top challenges when it comes to self-care.

The other top challenges included:

  • not enough energy
  • not enough money
  • feeling apathetic or depressed, and
  • feeling like it's irresponsible or selfish


I totally get it. I spent years with taking care of other people (mostly very little people) and didn't even have myself on my 'to do' list. With 3 kids under 3, my idea of self-care was hiding out in a hot shower 5 minutes longer than I probably needed to. Money was tight since I had stopped teaching, so spending it on 'self-care' seemed selfish at the time. I also didn't have a whole lot of energy left for me after taking care of everyone and my mindset at the time was that because I wasn't working outside the house, it was my job to take care of my family. Asking for help so that I could refill my own bucket with a yoga class or a massage or a nap also seemed selfish, especially since my husband wasn't spending a lot of time or money on his own self-care either. I was definitely representative of the women who responded to our survey.

I don't know that it was one specific incident that made me reframe my thinking about self-care, but I would say that when I had a breast-cancer scare when my kids were still really young, it definitely caused me to pause. Fortunately the biopsy came back benign and it started to sink in that if I didn't start taking better care of myself, I wasn't going to be able to take care of anyone else very well.

It's been and continues to be a learning process, but what I now understand and embody is that there is nothing selfish at all about nourishing self care. When I am well-fed, rested, happy, healthy and relaxed, everyone around me benefits. Everyone. Now, may family will attest to the fact that I am not always relaxed, but it's not for lack of effort in the self-care department. :)

Between focusing on my marriage, parenting three teens, running a business and managing a house, it can be so easy to let self-care go by the wayside and sometimes it does, but I've set up a few non-negotiables for myself that help me more consistently take care of myself.

I call these my Bottom Lines and this is a concept we teach in our 14-Day Resets and our 28 Days to Calm Your Craving Course and it's one that women tell us over and over how helpful it is.

Part of the challenge with self-care is that it never feels like there is enough time. I'm going to suggest that you start with one or two things that feel manageable, do them consistently and acknowledge yourself for doing them. These are your Bottom Lines; your Non-Negotiables; your Top of the To Do List items. The beautiful thing is that once your one or two Bottom Lines become your norm, you can add in another one or two and before you know it you're doing a lot of nourishing things to take care of yourself. A few examples of possible Bottom Lines for you:

  • Go inward before you go outward: meditate, pray or sit in stillness for 5 minutes BEFORE you turn to your phone or start taking care of everyone around you.
  • Drink a glass of water every morning within 20 minutes of getting up and before drinking anything else so that you start the day hydrated.
  • Sit down and enjoy a REAL and Balanced breakfast every morning to nourish your body and manage your blood sugar.
  • Sit down for lunch every day for at least 15 minutes to nourish your body and manage your blood sugar.
  • Enjoy kombucha in a pretty glass three times a week to give your gut a little TLC.
  • Move your body in a way you love at least three times each week instead of forcing yourself to exercise to punish yourself for eating or weighing 'too much'.
  • Light a beeswax candleat dinner to help you be more present when you eat.
  • Diffuse a high quality essential oil each day to help you be more present.
  • Get 7+ hours of sleep every night so you aren't so irritable and crabby like me when I'm sleep deprived. (read more about that here).
  • Eat Friendly Fat with every meal and snack to nourish body and manage your blood sugar.
  • Get a massage once a month to lower stress hormones and just feel better.
  • Get together with a 'life-giving' friend each month who supports you  instead of a life-zapping one who sabotages you. 
xo Angelle

xo Angelle

There are as many different Bottom Lines as there are women reading this post. There are no right or wrong ones. The key is to think about what feels like nourishing self-care to YOU  and to BELIEVE that you are worthy to create a Bottom Line that you make a commitment to honoring. Come on over to our Facebook Page and let us know what one or two Bottom Lines for self-care you have or are setting up for yourself!